Am I wrong in expecting a thank-you note after a job interview?

By | February 21, 2021

Maybe I’m old-fashioned, but it really bugs me when applicants don’t send a thank-you note after an interview. There are candidates that I really like who I would consider hiring, but I don’t even want to invite them back for a second interview when they don’t send a thank-you note. Is that time-honored courtesy dead?

Not dead, but dying. Just like good writing. And it has nothing to do with age or being old-fashioned, my friend, it has to do with respect. Social media is, on balance, great, but one consequence (besides excessive screen time and the blue light turning our teens into zombies) is that no one knows how to write anymore, unless it’s in acronyms for Twitter or email. It’s horrible. Thank-you notes aren’t a fad. You send a thank-you note when someone sends you a gift, or after they host you for dinner — or if you want a job from them. There are many people walking the Earth today who have interviewed with me who didn’t get to the second round — or didn’t get the job — because they didn’t observe this simple, basic courtesy. So stick to your principles, and thank you for reading my column and writing to me.

My boss has a “shoots first and asks questions later” style. It puts everyone on edge. How do I give my boss that tough feedback?

Complain to your boss about your upcoming raise or bonus before you even know what it is. Tell him that you assume it is going to be bad, and that he probably doesn’t appreciate you. When he looks at you as if you are crazy, then say, “That’s what we feel like every time you react to something before you know the facts or know what you are talking about.” Oh, if only it was that easy. Listen, bosses are people, too — well, most of them act like it, anyway. If you don’t say something, then it will never change, and you’ll have to deal with this behavior until you find another job. If you quietly and confidentially give your boss feedback at the right time, and they don’t respond well, then you probably don’t want to work for that person long-term anyway.

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Gregory Giangrande has over 25 years of experience as a chief human resources executive and is dedicated to helping New Yorkers get back to work. E-mail your questions to Follow Greg on Twitter: @greggiangrande and at

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